Recently, I decided I wanted to play Resident Evil for the first time in my life. Yes, the classic video game series that coined the term "survival horror" is one I've never played. It's nothing against the series itself; horror just isn't my cup of tea. Back in the 90s, I was still knee-deep in cartoony platformers like Crash Bandicoot, Spyro the Dragon, Ape Escape, and Croc. This past Halloween, I said screw it, let's get spooky. I downloaded the original Resident Evil on my PS5, and when I say original, I don't mean one of the remakes, I mean the Director's Cut (the version with the good music, thankfully). I wanted to experience the game in as much of its weird, 1996 gory glory as possible: low-quality live action cutscenes, poorly directed voice acting with bizarre translation, and combat that can be best described as frustrating. But I loved it. I loved the whole experience. Sure, I could have played one of the vastly improved remakes, but I wanted to experience the game how it was meant to be enjoyed originally. I wanted the cheese.
Resident Evil has had plenty of remakes and remasters of the classic games over the years, which have been critically and commercially praised. I'm glad these exist, but they're not exactly what I'm looking for. They have better controls and graphics, sure, but the charm and weirdness aren't there. One that did keep the charm and weirdness of the original was the stealth-dropped remaster of The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion that came back in April. It kept almost all of the original voice acting, only substituting when necessary, and kept most of the original cheesy line reads like "Stop right there, criminal scum!" that we've come to love since the original released almost two decades ago. Most of the new voice recordings are acted just like the 2006 original, and even the famous outtake still remains in the final game. It's the kind of update to the original that doesn't exactly replace it but instead complements it. You can still buy a commercial copy of the original without exactly needing to go to the aftermarket. It isn't like the original Star Wars trilogy where you have to resort to fan edits to watch the theatrical cuts in high definition.
While creating The Mandalorian, Jon Favreau and Dave Filoni cited the idea of getting all the secondary characters from the old Kenner Star Wars line while their older brothers would get the main characters as their main inspiration. We joke a lot about these B-List characters now, but back in the days of the old Kenner line, these guys were a big deal of many kids' collections. When I think of a lot of these characters, my mind doesn't go to the weird sci-fi names the characters have, but instead the simple names like "Snaggletooth" and "Hammerhead" from the toy packages. I think about the scene from E.T. where Elliot is showing E.T. all of his Star Wars toys. As such, I find most modern versions of figures of the "Cantina Creatures" from the original Star Wars kind of boring and frustrating, with so much attention being put into designs that were originally meant as background filler and worldbuilding. For the children of the 70s and 80s, the toy versions are what mattered, because that was Star Wars to them. When Hasbro announced a set of The Vintage Collection figures painted like the original Kenner toys, I had to get those. I may not have been around when those original toys were released, but the kitsch, the charm of Walrus Man is far more appealing than Ponda Baba. These aren't toys of characters we saw on screen--these are toys of other toys. That's cheesy, and that's awesome.
Transformers Missing Link is quite possibly one of the most astounding toylines on the market right now. The idea was to simply take the classic G1 Transformers of the 1980s and give them modern articulation. Now, that original Optimus Prime you had as a kid can actually do the pose on his box art, and all the cool stuff you imagined him doing! The line has also been used to put out a previously unmade figure in the form of G1 Arcee, which is nothing short of spectacular. The figures don't compromise any of the original design details while integrating parts that originally needed to be removed for transformation and die-cast metal content is exactly where it used to be. Add some Diaclone color schemes that never made it into the Transformers line, and you have a line that combines a traditional reissue line with something new, and you have the best of both worlds for people who can't afford to buy or find the originals. Speaking of The Best of Both Worlds...
Season 3 of Star Trek: Picard featured the reunion of the Star Trek: The Next Generation cast after the Star Trek Nemesis 20 years prior. It was long-awaited, and absolutely delightful to see Jean-Luc, Will, Worf, Data, Beverly, Geordi, and Deanna reunited on the bridge of a beautifully restored Enterprise-D. This came with a catch, however: most of the new characters introduced in the first two seasons of Picard like Agnes Jurati, Soji Asha, and Elnor didn't make the cut, not even for cameos. I found this very frustrating, since interactions between Soji and Data, and Elnor and Worf could have been extremely profound. Instead, the show was more focused on getting a cast of 70+ year-olds together again for one last romp through space, against the Borg... again, despite the show featuring a rogue group of Changelings from Deep Space Nine as villains for most of the season who were both extremely cool and compelling.
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| We all cheered when this happened, let's be real. I sure did. |
Don't get me wrong, I was so very excited for this show. It brought me to tears on many occasions. But after all was said and done, it felt a bit hollow and cynical, and the fandom reaction to it didn't help matters. Everyone was all, "This is what new Star Trek should be! Terry Matalas should be the new showrunner!" and whatever. While I enjoyed the season as a one-off thing, I was disappointed that it shoved so many of the series' new ideas to the side. It's also worth mentioning that season 2 of Picard had the same writing staff as season 3, and season 2 was not well-received. I found season 2 conceptually interesting, but an overstuffed mess of too many ideas without enough time devoted to any one of them. (Hey, I just described GQuuuuuuX!) So, you got another show with different characters already, which makes it clear that people only wanted to see the TNG crew again. Remove the existing characters we love, and the facade is broken; all that remains is a hollow, lifeless show designed to appeal to nostalgia heads.
One of the most frustrating toylines on the market right now is the Star Wars Retro Collection. This line has little to do with the previously mentioned Vintage Collection figures besides the classic Kenner style cardbacks and branding. This line started out as reissues of classic Kenner figures from the 70s and 80s, getting the classic figures back in the hands of collectors old and new. I loved these, because in addition to the reissued figures, they made a few new ones previously missing from the vintage line, like Grand Moff Tarkin--you know, the actual villain of the original movie! But for whatever reason, they decided to keep going with these retro-style figures, and have since made them for the recent TV shows like The Mandalorian, Ahsoka, and The Acolyte; the latter of which is completely baffling because the crusty old fans who like these figures are the ones who complain loudest about lesbian witches and "muh canon". It's one thing to fill in the gaps missing in the original toyline, but I genuinely don't see the purpose of making figures of characters introduced after 1985 in the Kenner style, at least officially.
This, to me, feels like cynical nostalgia baiting.
I think if you're going to do something "vintage style", you should make it in the vintage style of the actual toy you're representing. The Star Wars Retro Collection line also includes figures from the prequels, which is just bizarre to me. Why not style them like the contemporary Power of the Force 2 figures? Those are "retro" now. Do we only care about the nostalgia of 80s kids? Don't answer that, I know that's all they care about. You don't think I want some reissues of Transformers in Generation 2 packaging? God, I miss that glorious cardback style.
Remember when we used to get NEW Power Rangers shows instead of just more Mighty Morphin' stuff? I realize the relationship with Super Sentai is weird now (especially with Sentai ending) but there's absolutely no reason why we couldn't have entirely new costumes, monsters, robots, etc. for a series. Instead, we're getting MMPR again. I really don't think the kids are going to care about a 30-year-old TV show even with some horrendous shorts made with terrible new costumes. Power Rangers, like Transformers, Star Wars, Star Trek, and so many more, will always be there, but it's important for it as a franchise to move forward, especially if it's one aimed at kids.
Revisiting the past is fun, I'm not denying that. I'm a sucker for O-ring figures, and the recent O-Ring Revolution of figures from companies like Delta-17 and Grind Stone Toys has only amped it up. The problem is you can't only have stuff made in the image of the past. It's okay to glance backwards, but at the same time, you must continue to look forward. Glancing backwards should serve as a reminder of how far you've come, not a mission statement that things were better back then, because in many cases they weren't. This obsession with "things being better back in the day" is what has led us to this current awful political climate, where those in power who always had things better are now mad at the fact that they must share the spotlight with people different from them.
It's even worse when it comes to new intellectual properties. We hardly see anything new made that doesn't just homage the past. Companies are too skittish to make new IPs because it isn't guaranteed to make good money, and when they do, they seldom put the effort into it to make it worthwhile. Look at Starfield. The idea of Bethesda doing a new spacefaring RPG sounds really cool, yet it's had no pop culture penetration. I knew a lot of things from Elder Scrolls long before I played any of the games, and I don't think I've heard any memes or references to Starfield.
It's a damn shame, and AI is the zenith of it. Contrary to what the shills and tech bros may think, AI does not create anything new--it merely compresses existing art into a slurry and craps out something resembling the product which it's supposed to resemble. I fear that if we all give up creating new things, even things within the frameworks of franchises and IPs that already exist, we'll have given in to the true slop factory and lost what's truly made us human.
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