Fallout 4 Still Pisses Me Off

 Another Fallout Day has recently come and gone with little fanfare and no new announcements, not even those Fallout 3 or New Vegas remasters we've been expecting. We're getting a tenth anniversary release of Fallout 4, because apparently that's just gonna be Bethesda's new Skyrim. I only got into Fallout and Elder Scrolls back in late 2014 and early 2015, the former being because my friend bought Henry bought me New Vegas for Christmas. I was more or less brought into that franchise kicking and screaming, but once I was hooked, I was hooked BAD. You know the quest "There Stands the Grass", the one with the mutated plant monsters in Vault 22? I was up until 6am trying to beat that quest. That was the moment when I realized I'd found something special. As soon as I finished New Vegas for the first time, I just had to boot it up and play as a new character.

My birthday rolled around a few months later, and another friend bought me Fallout 3. Maybe I was spoiled by New Vegas, but I found myself not enjoying it was much. I knew some things would be different, what with it being an earlier game and all, but the story didn't click with me. Also, keep in mind that I was playing the Game of the Year edition, so I was able to do the logical thing and have Fawkes shut down the Project Purity reactor, because that ACTUALLY MADE SENSE. Anyway, I didn't hate the game, I did enjoy it, but something about it felt off. I didn't enjoy it as much as I did New Vegas. Finishing New Vegas made me want to start the game over again, while finishing 3 just made me want to start New Vegas again.

Despite this, when the announcement for Fallout 4 came another few months later, I was pumped. Admitted, I lacked a next-gen console to play the game on and PC gaming isn't my bag, so it would be a while before I'd play it. But man, it looked awesome. It takes place in Boston! A place I go to all the time! Filled with landmarks I recognize! You'd think a game like that would blow my ass away as soon as I played it. 

I think you can guess where I'm going with this.

I got my first taste of the game while I was recovering from surgery in February 2016. I enjoyed some of the mechanics. Customizing weapons is a lot of fun, treating power armor as a vehicle is cool (in theory at least), Nick Valentine is a great character, and it's good to see the Brotherhood of Steel back to being a bunch of bastards. But just like 3, something still felt off. It was missing that special sauce. I couldn't quite figure out what it was until I went and played the first two Fallouts.

Fallouts 1 and 2 are Bonafide classics. I can see why they're so beloved. Elements of them haven't really aged well (Fallout 2 doesn't have a single female companion besides the one potential romantic partner if you're playing a male character) but the stories are great, the combat is satisfying, and the humor is always good for a chuckle. One of the best aspects of the game was how it approaches morality. Sometimes, the most ethical thing to do isn't the smartest. You'd think repairing and optimizing the leaky reactor for the Ghoul citizens of Gecko would be a good idea, right? Well, repairing it is, sure, but if you optimize it, it puts a huge target on their backs and after the game ends, they get overrun and enslaved by nearby Vault City (there's supposed to be a way to have them form an alliance with Vault City but in classic fashion, it's bugged and can't be achieved).

What made me like New Vegas so much is how every choice felt logical. Character A might want me to blow up Character B, but what happens if I let Character B know in advance? Could we work something out? An alliance, perhaps? It may be an uneasy one, but it would be better for the people living in the wasteland for sure. I felt like the destiny of the Mojave was in my hands, regardless of which faction I threw my lot in with. Basically everyone sees Caesar's Legion as the enemy (with good reason) and the NCR, while inept, serves a purpose. No matter which outcome you go with, it makes sense. The Legion always has to go because they're a dangerous threat not just to New Vegas, but the wasteland as a whole. The NCR has been waging war with them for years, and a peaceful solution is not in the cards.

Let's look at the factions in Fallout 4: The Minutemen, the Institute, the Brotherhood of Steel, and the Railroad. The Minutemen are the unambiguous "good guys" you always work with and they go along with whatever you do. The Institute is the Commonwealth's boogeymen who live underground and send Synths to the surface to do.... something (I'll cover that later). The Brotherhood of Steel want little more than to annihilate the Institute and their abominable synthetic humans and all who harbor them. The Railroad rescues synths, wipes their memories, and lets them live their lives as normal humans. Now, if you're like me, the logical option here would be to have the Minutemen, Institute, and the Railroad form an alliance to take down the Brotherhood of Steel, right? Well, guess what, you can't do that, even though you get to become the head of the freakin' Institute in their quest line.  Nope, all questlines require you to destroy the Institute (unless you take that questline) and whomever else opposes you, save for the Minutemen. Peace is not an option.

It doesn't help that the Institute's end goal makes no sense. Okay, they made perfect synthetic humans (and animals) that are indistinguishable from the real deal. They act just like human beings, so they send them to the surface to replace key figures and infiltrate organizations. But... why? What makes a bunch of post-apocalyptic survivors such a threat to them? On top of that, the Synths themselves are treated merely as property, barely above your garden variety Protectron robot. The flesh and blood they may be made from is artificial, but it's still flesh and blood, nonetheless. It's hammered home that these synths are superior to humans and yet they aren't treated as such. So why bother making them? You witness Father dying of some illness, yet they don't make a new Synth body for him? Shouldn't the goal be to create immortal synthetic bodies for mankind? Bodies that can survive in the post-atomic wasteland? 

Imagine the game that would create. On one side, you have the Brotherhood of Steel, who believes technology should only serve man, and becoming one with technology is abominable. On the other, the transhumanist Institute, who wants to upgrade humanity to survive in the harsh, unforgiving wasteland that now engulfs the planet. They're two sides of the same coin, with the Brotherhood being humans clad in power armor, while the Institute appear human but underneath, they are made of advanced technology barely understood by the masses. Each has an almost cult-like devotion to their way of life. Both sides have their points, but they're fundamentally incompatible with one another, and in the middle are the poor survivors of the wasteland just trying to get by without being eaten by Deathclaws or Radscorpions. 

This take on the Institute is not unlike The Master and the FEV from the original Fallout. Obviously, the Institute wouldn't be kidnapping people... or would they? Maybe there'd be a rogue element within the Institute kidnapping people and forcing them into synthetic bodies. Maybe they'd be inserting spies in the ranks of the Brotherhood. These are ideas worth exploring. Maybe Bethesda would be able to do the same if they'd hire some actual freaking writers on their games. 

You'll notice I didn't talk about any of the gameplay parts of Fallout 4, like the Power Armor being severely overpowered, the overemphasis on crafting, or Preston Garvey telling you that "another settlement needs your help" for the thousandth time. That stuff isn't what bothers me, really. Fallout is an RPG series, and while the core of it is obviously the game mechanics, it's story that truly makes or breaks an RPG. It's important to care about why you're doing what you're doing in those kinds of games. It isn't like, say, Doom, where all that you need to know is that you're a pissed-off space marine kicking demon ass from Hell and back again. I want to care about the people of the wasteland. I want to know that what I'm doing is making a difference to them.

Knockoffs, Reproductions, and You.

 In the world of toy collecting, there are three noteworthy types of knockoffs. The first, and arguably most famous, are the cheap dollar store ones you'll find with hilarious names like "Deformation Warrior" and other sorts of nonsense. The second are the actual counterfeits: higher-quality reproductions made at a fraction of the cost to dupe buyers into thinking they got a sweet deal on a genuine G1 Soundwave for forty bucks. The third is what I call the "labor of love". Unlike the first two, these aren't made to get a quick buck, but instead, to use the existing designs to give actual fans of the property something new. In some circles, these are called "factory customs", with the most notable example being the G.I. Joes released by Black Major. One could argue that the "third party transforming robots" fall into this category as well, but that's not what we're here to talk about.

Black Major Alley Vipers, circa 2018.

I want to focus on the "factory custom" and reproductions here. I own a lot of Black Major figures, as well as ones from other folks like Red Laser's Army, Letal Customs, and Lady Jaye Toys. The primary purpose of these figures is to supplement existing collections by giving fans existing molds in color schemes that weren't offered in the real line. While they're usually army builders (a guaranteed way to get people to buy multiples), some have been singular characters, like the excellent Red Laser releases for the "Argen 7" figures, Lady Jaye's plethora of Baroness repaints, and the recent Black Major rangers. Save for some sparse reissues like the HasLab Skystriker, the classic O-ring G.I. Joe line is effectively dead and has been for over a decade. With these new knockoffs, collectors of that classic style are able to get new offerings and keep that corner of the hobby alive. After all, isn't it boring when you run out of stuff to collect?

Missing Link Arcee, in her glorious 1986 prototype colors.

Let's take G1 Transformers. I don't mean the characters themselves; I mean the actual toys. There's something charming about the classic Japanese toy robot style: the limited articulation, the focus on cool features and gimmicks, and going absolutely buck-wild with character design choices. This is what made Missing Link Arcee my current champion for the "toy of the year" title: she feels like she stepped right out of 1986 with only some new articulation indicating that she was made in the 21st century.

In addition to collection holes like missing characters, there are some that are just unobtainable to the average collector, be it as a result of price, scarcity, or worse: fragility. Some of you reading may be familiar with a condition called Gold Plastic Syndrome, and those who are unaware can read TFwiki's article here. Enter Black Zarak, a Japanese-exclusive redeco and retool of the G1 Transformer Scorponok. He's one of the most unfortunate cases for a variety of reasons: he's a late release in his respective line, meaning he had a shorter shelf life than his compatriots; he's a big-ticket item, so not as many people could afford one; and finally, he was exclusive to only one market. Take all of that and add fragile gold plastic that shatters if you look at him wrong, and you have one hell of a holy grail for the average collector.

That's where that third kind of knockoff comes in.

The KO Black Zarak, image taken form TommyParkStore, where I ordered mine from.

I'm not 100% sure on their name (I think it's BX?), but a few years ago this company started producing knockoffs of G1 Metroplex, mainly so they could do another coveted Japanese-exclusive deco, Metrotitan.  This release was very well-received and allowed collectors around the world a chance at getting their own version of such a cool rarity at a fraction of the cost. Last year, they announced that they were doing Scorponok, and as you can imagine the first thought on everyone's mind was, "are they doing Black Zarak?" Well, the answer is yes. The Scorponok was very well-received, much more so than the counterfeit version that flooded markets many years ago. Not only that, it comes in its own unique packaging that doesn't emulate the real deal, and each part is marked with "BXZX" so it can't be easily passed off as the original. Is it a fake of the original? Sure. Is it trying to fool people into thinking they're buying the original? Not in the slightest. It's made by fans, for fans, so the casual collector has a chance to own something that might otherwise be impossible to get.

What about figures that everyone owned, but not everyone has the pieces for anymore? What do we do about those? Should we leave our Princess Leia figures defenseless because she lost her blaster to the Sarlaac Pit that is 70s shag carpeting? Should a G.I. Joe Mauler be left stranded on the battlefield because its tow cable snapped in three places? What about poor Starscream, who no longer transforms into a jet because your friend's dog chewed up wings and tailfins, and is now stuck turning into some weird dart? Reproduction parts can provide old toys that may have been otherwise thrown away or strapped to bottle rockets with a new lease on life. 

Cartoon Boba Fett (by ProCustomFigures) shows the SS (Stan Solo) stamp on Threepio's thigh, which exists so you won't mistake him for the real (and expensive) deal. Don't worry, Threepio is used to the humiliation.

Some people (mostly vintage Star Wars collectors) despise reproduction parts and scoff at the mere mention of the word (seriously, I got banned from the Imperial Commissary on Facebook not for trying to buy or sell repro parts, but for merely *showing that I owned some*) and think they poison or ruin the hobby, but I think it's the exact opposite: it makes the hobby more accessible. What's the point of paying $50 for a genuine Leia blaster when the reproduction looks and functions the same way? Most people who buy repro parts do it solely for themselves, they're not trying to rip people off. They want their toys to feel complete without paying through the nose. People who insist on buying the real deal will always be part of the hobby, but not everyone is that kind of die-hard collector. Some of us just want to have fun.

At the end of the day, isn't that why we're here? To have fun? To enjoy our little plastic robots, army guys, and spacemen? Maybe you like to keep your stuff 100% original. That's cool, but don't get mad at those of us who just want our toys to look and function properly.

Welcome aboard.

"Cog Blocked" is an idea I've had for a mecha anime-related review series on YouTube for over a decade and a half now, but I could just never get it started. Pretty fitting considering the name, don't you think? Anyway, I'm taking the concept and making it into a blog of general stuff. I'll be covering toys, models, video games, TV shows, all sorts of crap. Expect something substantial soon. Probably.